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Concerning things about my life that concern me

2016 version of "50 facts about me" in blog style


Sep 24, 2026



I have been scrolling for a couple of hours. I want to switch out of that by writing. So here are some concerning things about my life. Welcome back to my channel -

  1. I scroll a lot on youtube and now there are recurring weird characters like this chinese channel with girls taking turns singing with a horse video on top and they sing the same songs everyday. They are very addicting and very very surreal and they swing one of their hands in sync.
  2. I don't have astigmatism but I do have dry eyes from looking at scrolling a lot an not blinking enough. I've been prescribed drops and to blink and drink water

  3. there are pockets of random piles of things like my white drawer next to where I work, my bedroom pile of clothes and dust on my other table that I need to clean to use but I don't for some reason - here it is

  4. I like reading typos in my texts and blogs because I feel some sort of pride in not using AI to write at all. Like aw, look at this human cutie that makes mistakes

  5. I am on twitter too much and I'm scared all my political arguements come from there, please read more books santrupti, I beg you
  6. I have no idea who reads these blogs, if you subbed to my rss I don't know

  7. I've gotten too addicted to writing with this pen I love, every other pen I've used feels wrong and I'm terrified of it being discontinued or ever being in a place where this pen is ot available to write, you think I'm joking but it genuinely causes 2 second stress everytime I can't take out my trustee pen. If one of them runs out of ink I'm scared its gorgeous. Look at how the ink blots on paper, the volume it gives letters. Thank you for making my handwriting feel important

  8. I'm so scared of washing hands, the texture change is terrrrrrrrifying like water touching then uneven drying. Jesus nature get a grip, but I love putting my feat in clean water and lakes. I don't drink enough water because it drips and falls on my clothes and then touches my skin. Like why are you touching me.

  9. I am disassociated a lot. I have to ground myself all the time, my attention span is constantly getting better and worse. I meditate but I should do it more.
  10. I hold my breath and clench my muscles when working because I'm constantly terrified of doing things wrong. My career has spanned 4 years and I've made blunders. It is really scary. I've been made fun of because of those blunders and it took a long time to undo that opinion in someone's mind so now everytime I make a mistake it feels like that person will forever remember me that way. I get stomach aches often when I'm working a lot and I have to constantly do physio exercises to not die of back and neck pain
  11. my headphone covers all falling apart
  12. my 2L water bottle has been siting forever without use and I'm scared of using it now because what if germs?
  13. I dont let my hair touch the seat headrest cuz it gets frizzier thus causing more neck pain, especially if I washed my hair because seat will get wet and then wetness and texture change and oh my god, here we go again
  14. "your work is great but when we give you more work and there's less time, your quality of work goes down" - verbatim last quarter feedback from my manager before I left. I will never be able to fix this. And I'd like to be free of it.
  15. what if something is stuck in my water filter and I'm currently drinking poison
  16. I like putting my feet up when I sit but I'm scared I have dirt under my feet and people will think I'm dirty
  17. Shorts are freeing but they ride up when I sit. My skin stickets to the seat because of sweat
  18. Beautiful posters I have by friend but I can't put them up because I have to move but I don't know when because my owner hasn't warned me yet to leave
  19. Pockets of dust in my house, I have a mental note of where they are but I'm scared of touching and I live in paralysing anxiety that I will touch it
  20. I have not done a physical exercise since a long time and my gym membership ran out.
  21. fan dry

I'm ok I just wanted to air out my dirty laundry to empty my head, thanks for reading. I will not be editing or checking for typos and I will time block to get work done after this.

-Santa Paramhappiness <3