Weeknote June 22- 28, 2026

cubbon reads inspired me to write this and then it went downhill

Jun 28, 2026

June has been catastrophical. My birthday month always has been. I had a message from me from last year saying "Hey... How are you? Are you ok? Cuz I'm not... I hope you're better than what I am rn... I love you. I hope you made it. I'm tryna get a job rn and can't. I feel trapped and scared... Am I going to be okay? I'm scared santrupti..."

If santrupti from last year saw me she would definitely not think I'm ok. But I think I am. A lot of things are falling apart but I'm extremely grateful for everything I do have. If I reflect on why that is, its because of the environment I've made for myself over the years. The conversations I now have with others and myself have been so nourishing that there is a sense of community and safety that I'm extremely proud of. Regardless of everything bad happening, its worth witnessing this life.

Actual weeknotes now

Me and my bestfriend haven't spoken in a while, I'm a lil sad but I'm sure he has stories to tell when we do talk that I'm excited

I got rejected from a place that I really wanted to be at and it wrecked me but I stood up again, I recovered. I will keep standing up and do anything to keep coming back to this practice. I love design I don't see myself doing anything else.

I cried a lot but I also advocated for what I wanted and what matters to me and I'm really proud of myself

One of the things I cried about was how I haven't really lived because I haven't been anywhere and done anything. And it made me really sad that I've never had the means to go on vacation outside the country and it makes me sad all the time. But I hope one day, I can. And regardless of where I have and haven't been I have done things - a lot of wonderful, disastrous things. Travelling is not the only indicator of a life well lived.

I could've been kinder to myself and people around me this week but I will work on that

I removed a few more books from my shelf and kept it on my coffee table as a reminder to read them

I used Hank green's focus friend app to lock my phone when working and it was really nice, it works!

I started a new project

I pulled out a very pretty dress I have never worn out of my wardrobe so I can alter it and wear

I almost don't do any physical exercise, hope I start walking around more. Miss the gym

I've been really tired this week, my period is due soon

Went to cubbon reads and had lunch with Jatan, Anik & Devanshi. What a hoot that was. Great conversations, it was so fun.

Never fucking mind, that was not the end. I ended up going to a meetup after writing this weeknote, it made me mad and I'm writing about it. I was the only 1 of 3 girls in this meetup with almost 50 men. I would see pretty much everyone approaching people but not me. When I'd enter conversations I would be actively ignored. Everybody else got to talk about things they were building and I immediately got flirted with or the conversation diverted or worse, met with disinterest. My other two male peers I took to this thing got asked technical questions about whys and whats and hows of their project while I got interrupted a ton "isnt this just a todo app? Why solve it again?" without letting me finish my sentences. I truly just do not want to go to these anymore. I have stopped going but there are rare times when people go out of their way to invite me and I cave. Please do better. Curate who you call, how conversations are led. These hostile spaces make me so pissed off. We have solved this before. We know how to do these things now, you've heard enough people who are not men complain about this. I make things too, I nerd out too, I wanna be given equal opportunity to pitch the things I make without interruption. I deserve to have interesting conversations about tech instead of being stared at, from a distance like a zoo animal.